| This is me, growing up, changing my life and living it like there's no tomorrow. Too many days have passed by that I’ve wasted moping around. I’ve wasted too many days thinking "what if" and wishing I could go back in time and stay there forever. I never wanted to grow up. But today, I was forced to. And you know what? I realized I'm in the process for growing up and finding myself. If this never happened, I would not be as strong as I am right at this moment. I might of never realized how much my family supports me and one another, how much work it takes to get what you really want in life, and last but not least, what it takes to be the kind of person I would admire. So what’s better than today to change my life? That’s exactly what I thought too.
Looking back on the past two years, my life has been turned upside down. People have called me names, made me feel like shit, walked all over me, used me, and made it seem like I was worthless. Some people have built me up, made sure I was known and seen, just so they could have the pleasure of strategically tear me down. Sometimes, I would wake up and hate being me. It’s a horrible thought to think about and the saddest part of this all was that I let it happen. I am the one who easily trusts anyone because I believe that all people, no matter who they are, have some good inside them. It’s just the way I believe the world is and for that very thought, my world was crushed. All I really wanted was someone to take the time and listen to me. My world is broken and I have to find the strength to let it go, pick up the pieces and hope tomorrow will be better. I’ve realized that people come and go but there will always be those people who, no matter what you do, will always be there for you. They see your imperfections and insecurities but they still love you all the same. And for those people. I can never say thank you enough times.
In the past, I've let people come and go through my life without letting them know how much I appreciate and love them. I don't want to waste another day without letting the people I love the most know how much I love them. Because, unfortunately, I've seen individuals wander through their lives wondering if someone out there loves them. I don't want anyone I love to ever wonder if I love them or not. I want them to be positive that there is someone out there who loves them.
That someone is me.
I have to stop looking for happiness. Because every time I go out looking for it, I just come back being even more depressed than I was when I started. So I’m going to stop searching. Stop looking for people where they will never be and in the one place I wish they could stay forever….
…with me.
I'm living like there's no tomorrow. and maybe, just maybe, happiness will find me.
I'm sending my all my love to you...until next time. |
| |
